Christmas Horoscope

"The celestial configuration may bring you closer together to a certain person with whom you have recently become romantically involved. Neither of you has exactly rushed into the relationship, yet you both have the intuition that you are meant for each other, and so time is not really an issue. You both feel secure in each other's company, and are very content to deepen the bond between you."

oion to glukumalon ereuthetai akroi ep' usdoi,
akron ep' akrotatoi, lelathonto de malodropees.
ou man eklelathont', all' ouk edunant' epikesthai.

[the bride]
just like a sweet apple that ripens on the uppermost bough,
on the top of the topmost; but the apple-gatherers have forgotten it,
or rather, they haven't altogether forgotten it, but they could not reach it.

-SAPPHO, Fragment 105A V.

Campus Martius

The talk of possibly ice skating in the future got me excited. Then I remembered this beautiful poem the mother of one of my past preschool students wrote:

I used to be afraid of dying.
a canopied nightmare wrapped in
rainbow sheets
soaked in fear of nothing and forever
Id jump out of my bed
and down the steps
into the arms of a mortal mommy
whose hugs would slow down my racing heart
It used to be the threat of nuclear attack
and that last chapter in the bible
that spun me faster than a top.
but death was a for-sure thing…
I knew life wasn’t all swings and slides
but
if old age meant rocking chairs and checkers
I could understand being tired of living/
still… death and its doneness were scary things
and infinity was a burning pyre of options.
There was nothing that I couldn’t imagine getting tired of…
until I saw your smile and your eyes bright and wild
as we ice skated in the middle of the city/
Facing Woodward and our future
u holding on to me
my hands sticking to the freezing rail
people passing in the streak that used to be my life/
I hold you up and let you fall
as my instincts tell me to
we leave only when our hands tremble from cold
my smile frozen/ begging for the warmth of yours in return
and the fear I felt now drips soggy and desperate
so vulnerable to you
so powerless to this force that entered my life
2 months early and right on time.
My winter baby
all cotton and down
You splash a cold breath on my life
as you release my hand
and wake me to renewal
I watch before you land
my young sprite
full of all things living and present
death so vacant and simple
an unworthy rival to the brown eyes peeking under your cap.

This new blackberry tea reminds me of a nice frumpy sweater for typing work...and those wonderful candies that remind me of my grandparents and an earlier time.



You've got me checking horoscopes again.

"Emotions may cloud your thoughts as things start to heat up in a heavy way, Gemini."

Since they started falling, I've been picking up leaves here and there. Last year, I reserved the enormous ones for posting on my wall, but this weekend I will be putting up everything in a glorious hodge-podge of autumn.

When there's a defining moment each day, I search the earth floor for the perfect leaf. I then tuck it away in my notebook as a reminder. One for anticipation, one for when I had a challenging clinical, one for new friends, one for a reunion with old. I found the most beautiful, chocolate brown leaf, unlike any I've ever see--for an unexpectedly pleasant evening. The ones that bleed red have especially been imprinted on my brain. I tape it to the door.

Mandy posted her zen tarot on her blog, which I found very applicable to my life right now.

"1) Letting Go: let go of that finished thing that defined you; letting go represents liberation

2) Receptivity: welcome a time of no expectations, no rewards; dissolving all of the obstacles that keep separate from the whole, from each other

3) Control: “there’s more to life than ‘being on top of things’”


Very glad to read today! I’m trying to take risks, and not worry as much, and be assertive, and manifest, and actually feel like I DESERVE things and then GET THEM. Yeah?! It’s a crazy, powerful shift in mindset.

Ugly readings at the Mug

"As a grandfather I'm entitled to a few words of advice to the young, based upon my long and unvarying experience as a transgressor. I can sum them up with these answers to the oft-repeated question, "What would you do or not do if you had it all to do over again?"

I would spend more time with my children.
I would make my money before spending it.
I would learn the joys of wine instead of hard liquor.
I would not smoke cigarettes when I had pneumonia.
I would not marry the fifth time."

-An Open Book by John Huston

‎"I am selfish, impatient, and a little insecure, I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst than you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-Marilyn Monroe

I still like you, Arcade Fire

This week I listened to Sound Check on NPR, where everyone was bashing Arcade Fire for being trendy, theatrical, various reasons. However, I really don't mind the new album, The Suburbs. Aside from the song Rococo, I've been obsessed with the song "Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains." It's like everything I've ever wanted of Blondie and Labyrinth together + flying dream sequences of mine.

‎"Fashion is meant to become unfashionable."
- Coco Chanel

Rest in peace, Abbey Lincoln

Abbey Lincoln (1930-2010)

Brand New Key, pair of roller skates

"A 8mm film done by my sister while
in high school for a class project
in the 70's with music by Melanie
that finally got edited to tape"

She was the fine peaches of summer in the snow of winter, and she was cool milk for cereal on a hot early-June morning.
-Ray Bradbury, "A Story of Love"

Read the full short story here.

Birthday show

The World Around Me

Fay Kleinman and self-portrait, "The World Around Me," mixed-media.

"Dear Mother: I have written to tell you my worrying secret. Now don’t cry when you read it because it is neither yours nor my fault. I suppose I will have to tell it now, without any nonsense. To begin with I was not meant to be an athlete. I was meant to be a composer, and will be I’m sure. I’ll ask you one more thing.—Don’t ask me to try to forget this unpleasant thing and go play football.—Please—Sometimes I’ve been worrying about this so much that it makes me mad (not very)."
-Samuel Barber, age 9

“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.”
-Frank Clark

On the ballet dancer and choreographer, Vaslav Nijinsky (1890-1950):

Nijinsky's Diary was written during the six weeks he spent in Switzerland before being committed to the asylum. Obscure and confused, it is obviously the work of a schizophrenic, but in many ways reflects a loving nature, combining elements of autobiography with appeals for compassion toward the less fortunate, and for vegetarianism and animal rights. Nijinsky writes of the importance of feeling as opposed to reliance on reason and logic alone, and he denounces the practice of art criticism as being nothing more than a way for those who practice it to indulge their own egos rather than focusing on what the artist was trying to say. The diary also contains bitter and conflicted thoughts regarding his relationship with Diaghilev.